Bunny Ears Strawberry taken by M. Higgins early 2015 crop

Quitting, Moving on, Extinguishing the Light

Bunny Ears Strawberry taken by M. Higgins early 2015 crop
Bunny Ears Strawberry (by M. Higgins)

Surprise!

It’s been a while. I had the first little bit of free time in a long time so I decided to update all the doohickeys that needed attention in WordPress. As a web designer I am fairly typical in that my own websites are the last thing on my mind. Also, this is my writer’s site, and I haven’t written anything in forever, and it’s easier to forget it was something I should/could/desire if I don’t look at the website.

WordPress first

This updated smoothly. Did I save my dbase first? What do you think…?

Plugins next

Again, no sweat.

Themes

Heh, that’s easy. Select all and bulk update…yep. All done.

Done in

I might even have been tempted to walk away at that point, but years of close-calls made me check the site. Can you guess what I found?

Consequences

The theme I had installed years ago had updated but now looked awful. The slideshow was gone, and if I wanted help I’d need to buy the premium version. I have no problem paying for stuff, and it is totally my fault for not checking what the updates would do, but I decided to just fall back on one of the earlier themes instead. So if you find an older post with a janky extra image at the top of the page it’s because I haven’t removed the featured image yet. Sorry.

Coincidences

This post isn’t about web design, though. It’s about writing. Because while I was trying to distract myself from the fact that I was destined to spend precious free time messing around in WordPress, I checked Twitter. Jenny, The Bloggess, shared this:

I knew I shouldn’t click on that link, but since I had already messed up once today, why not?

Truth

The thing about being a writer is that you can legitimately sit around thinking about writing for a long time. Thinking about writing is only a problem if all you ever do is the thinking. If you never do the writing part then you are not a writer. We can all agree on this.

What the Novel Doctor is talking about in that article, though, is what happens when you realise that you have not written for a while. Maybe you officially quit. Maybe you just walk away. Maybe you just think about how stupid it is that you can’t write and then check Twitter and play video games and do the laundry and go back to work (the other work).

Maybe your life is so full of work and family and stuff that it all just fades away. The pilot light that ND talks about gutters and fails.

Why should it matter? You weren’t writing anyway! Mourning something that you didn’t do is the height of self-pity. You should grow up and put away those childish things.

Dare

The section above is a lie, because you don’t just realise you haven’t written for a while. It never leaves you; it stalks your weaker moments, waiting to reconfirm that you are, in fact, a fraud. Writer? Now that’s a joke.

Forfeit

Best to walk away, salt the earth and have done with it. If you wanted enough, yadda yadda yadda.

Pilot

There is only one driver, and that is you. Well, it’s me, actually, and if switching between persons is annoying you, then I’m sorry. Again. (But not that sorry. Not sorry enough to stop, anyway.)

If I write, or not, it is down to me.

Light

Plots are overrated, as this post demonstrates. If you want to write, you will. Maybe that’s the take away.

Maybe that’s the thing.

Maybe you write.

Post Script

Jenny Lawson (The Bloggess) writes passionately, hilariously and movingly about her life in a way that I can only envy. She is open about her struggles with anxiety and depression, and she keeps keeping on. That sort of courage is inspiring, so be inspired.

I had never heard of Stephen Parolini (Novel Doctor) before today, but his website has some gems on it. Give it a whirl!

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